Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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