thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
