I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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