You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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