Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
