found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
