i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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