So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
