I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
