I will die if light touches me.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize