I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
