are you still at the devil's house?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
