the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
