Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
