just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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