i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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