What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
