went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
