I must be too annoying 4 u.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.