so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?