dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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