Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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