your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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