You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
