She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
