Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
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He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
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I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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