ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
