And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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