OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
