this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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