Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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