am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize