My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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