I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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