i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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