life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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