He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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