Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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