Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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