nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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