so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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