Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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