I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
