omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize