If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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