I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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