She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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