Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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