i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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