So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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