I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
