i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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