you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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