dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
