bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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