he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
