found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
