Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
