I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I think my vagina is haunted
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Randomize
