My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize