let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
