just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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