He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
